“Actions are the best interpreters of thoughts” - John Locke (1632-1704)
I swear I got a psychology degree from how many groups I had to do in rehab and at my recovery center’s PHP. They ranged from our higher powers to budgeting to the sauce of apologies. The apology part is what this quote reminded me of.
I heard a phrase in one of these groups that I absolutely adore: the best apologies are ones that come with changed actions. And I truly believe that.
“Sorry” is a great word, maybe in the top 10 most frequently used words in my life. But, what does ‘sorry’ do? It signifies “I admit what I did was uncouth or an unexpected behavior and I wish I hadn’t done it, but we can’t change what’s been done so this is me announcing that I understand what you’re thinking.” Sorry.
The problem is no where in there is the notion of “I will change.” It requires an addendum - “Sorry, I’lll be better next time” or “Sorry, I’ll change.”
The best apologies are changed action as, as John Locke says, actions are the best interpreters of thought.
This is a quote, the one we’re working with today, that I am staunchly 100% in favor of. Now, notice he did not say “the only” interpreter of thoughts. Locke uses the word “best” purposefully here. “Best” here is showing that there are exceptions to the rule: people can lie and act against their better nature or against their true beliefs for any number of reasons. Just look what these ‘Impractical Jokers’ mimickers were able to cook up.
But, I may then argue that the point was missed. In this marriage example, the man is constantly doing things he does not want to do - going against his true thoughts it would appear. That would be if his sole true thought was “I do not actually want to be married to this woman.” However, I want to add the simple thought of “I want to impress my friends” and in this scenario of the marriage, that is done by doing everything they tell him to do via an ear piece.
We have 10,000 thoughts a day. We probably perform, I don’t know, 1,000? actions per day. That’s 1/10th the amount of thoughts that occur. I bring up this ratio to show that a multitude of thoughts may accompany an action. Maybe the man, in impressing his friends, also wants the woman to not be hurt by the friendly actions, to be happy within this game the man is playing. He also could be thinking “she gives great back massages, so I want her to stay with me as long as we can possibly have this game go on.”
Actions are the best interpreter of thoughts, but it depends on which thought one is singling out. Some intentions are hidden behind the scenes within the thoughts of the soul of the actor. You could even think of Hollywood acting as “s/he is pretending to be someone else - this is so I believe they are them and I enjoy the movie more; this is what the actor wants.”
What behaviors of mine reveal that my thoughts are not fully in line with my ideals?
Authenticity is a huge barrier for me in this world. I aim to be as authentic and true to my personality as I can, but oftentimes succumb to anxiety and simply follow social order to a ‘T.’
Being inauthentic is a horrible disaster in my book. How could one happily live if they were to second guess and act in ways that retract from the soul’s happiness? Isn’t the goal here ‘eudaimonia,’ happiness? If being inauthentic removes happiness and enjoyment of life, why would it be a helpful expedition to act upon?
I ask you: where are you being inauthentic in your life?
That’s all I have to say for this short and sweet week. Go out and be unapologetically you but, when you have to apologize, make sure the ‘sorry’ is backed up with action.
Next week: Thomas Aquinas
If you think you want to send me a coffee, then feel free to back up that action and follow this link.
If you’re going to be inauthentic, what a sad, sad life.