Philosophy Card Sunday: Thomas Aquinas
Love yourself
It’s Sunday, so we’re back! Again, every Sunday this year, I will be pulling an “inspirational” card from my deck of 52 philosophy quotes and questions and I’ll share my answers to them here. Here is the quote before the question(s) in bold:
“The things that we love tell us what we are” - Thomas Aquinas (1225-1274)
There must be a difference between what we are and who we are. But what is it? There must be one, or else Thomas Aquinas would have phrased his quote differently.
What we are is intrinsic. It comes with personhood. It is the personality and characteristics that are naturally instilled in a person. Now, can any of these survive past adolescence without being commandeered or redirected by someone else’s what? That would be for another essay.
Who we are seems to be who we choose to portray ourselves as. Who I am is based on the choices that I have made, the thoughts I’ve contemplated, and the Love that I want to share across my life. Who we are is more learned and adaptable while What we are is born from our tabula rasa.
So, Aquinas used “what.” That means his quote is saying “the things that we engage in purposefully tell us what we were born to be.” I think that’s a pretty accurate re-phrasing of the saint, but feel free to disagree.
The things that we love tell us what we are - so, what are things we love? I will go on, in this post, to talk about virtues and passions in the second half. For here, I will name things I love such as sportsmanship and competition, friendship and generosity, authenticity and belonging, and those are the three to six things I love. Just kidding, but it’s a good start.
Those are the things I love - that’s the first half of the quote. Now, what must those things mean for what I am? Intrinsically, these values teach me that I, myself, am someone who enjoys community, honesty, and shenanigans. I do not want to take my life seriously (or, I should say, too seriously). I want to make sure a good time is had by all and, if there is a good time not being had, being ignored, or being missed, then it must be my job to bring that person in from the fray.
That’s me putting myself at the top of Maslow’s Hierarchy. In reality, introversion, anxiety, and the other sides of those above mentioned coins also play a part in me - but that’s not what I love. What I love is what Aquinas is saying tells us what we are, possibly even who we are.
Love seems to be the operative word of the quote. ‘we’ and ‘what’ would be the next two words that stand out, but love is what the quote surrounds. I mean, it’s almost perfectly sandwiched between four words on one side and five words on the other half of the quote; it’s almost like the quote is surrounding itself physically around what it surrounds spiritually.
It’s not about things we like or wish to have or enjoy seeing in others. It’s the things we love. Jordan Peterson made an interesting claim in his video where he squares off against twenty atheists where he made the point that something you believe in is something you would die before opposing; that is to say, if you believe 2+2=4, then you’d die before earnestly answering 109. Or, if you believe that water is wet, you’ll go to the ends of the Earth showing depictions of water molecules surrounding each other, technically meaning water is surrounded by its own self in water and, thus, making water wet. But to believe something, according to Peterson, is to feel wholeheartedly that it is true, will always be true, and can never be proven false. A wavering belief is a belief lost in this scenario.
I bring up this notion of belief from Peterson to compare it to Aquinas’ word ‘love’ in this week’s quote. It’s not about the things you like a lot, or enjoyed as a kid, or would hope to achieve one day. What you are is based on what you love. I am going to go ahead and mirror Peterson’s belief by saying that to love something is to want it despite any of its follies. One can love money, though it is the root of all evil. One can love war, though what is it good for? One can love bitches, but the stripper won’t love you back. We can like a lot a lot of things. But, to love something is to hold it as a prize, as a standard for all other livelihoods to be compared, as the evident truth. In loving something, one cannot see how another cannot love the same thing.
As always: just because it is on a quote card does not make it true. So, feel free to disagree with Aquinas. I want to say that his message or quote is one that I can understand from a certain viewpoint, but not necessarily one that I believe.
I mean, was Jeffrey Dahmer born to be a serial killer or was that something that developed in him through misguidance in life? He may have been born to enjoy gore more than others and to be sexually deviant…but to kill someone else? To take their whole life? Was Dahmer born for that, is that what he is or that who he became? That’s one extreme example I tried to come up with to counter Aquinas and I’m not even sure I believe my counter; I certainly wouldn’t die for it.
Based on Peterson’s notion I’m not sure what I believe in if anything.
What do I hold close to my heart and what does that tell me about my soul?
I’ve been thinking a lot about virtues. In line with next week’s philosopher, I just so happen to be reading Thus Spoke Zarathustra and Nietzsche brought up the idea that each person has their own virtue. It sounded like there are certain common ones: courage, prudence, generosity, belonging, etc. but everyone weighs their importance differently and/or applies them to life slightly differently. Nietzsche goes on to say that these virtues are what birth our passions.
Personally, I don’t hold much close to my heart. I know how easily everything, such as trust and friendship, can be stripped away from a person. Holding on too tightly only makes letting go more painful. And the longer you white knuckle, the louder they will crack.
What I want to say is the central virtue, and I’ve written about this before on Owls Are Birds, Too, that I like to look towards in regards to holding Love as a higher power is: belonging.
Belonging to me is why we do anything - to better connect whether that be with ourselves or those we love around us. Yes, one can even belong to oneself and that’s a very important lesson to be learned; you have to belong to you. It’s about authenticity. But, we do anything - we get jobs, go on dating apps, write Substacks, and do a myriad of self-care coping strategies - towards the goal of feeling a sense of belonging, of being in the right place, an opposition to burdensome feelings, and the notion that love is mutual.
What this tells me about my soul (holding belonging to such a high status) is that it must mean I know what it’s like to be on the outskirts. I have been abandoned, I have found a rock bottom (though, those come with trap doors), and I have fought against loneliness and isolation to extents I wouldn’t wish on anyone who I do know. I may wish those on a Yankees player, but that’s another post.
It tells me my soul does not want to see what it has felt. The averted eyes, the bleeding fingers, the frayed hair - my perfect world involves everyone having a home they can belong to. I recently started going to AA again with a friend and that’s a place where arms are held out wider than a bar counter. That’s a place where truly everyone belongs. Is that thanks to the anonymity? What’s even anonymous at AA anyway? The first thing you say every meeting is your name.
It tells me my soul craves connection. It craves Love. It craves community. I want to be a part of a team - a team in the sense of everyone pulling towards the same goal with the rising tides lifting all ships; not just some pretend marketing team that meets once a week at work to say nothing.
Holding belonging as a central virtue, as I bring this back to my Nietzsche beginning, has even shown itself through my passions. In sports, for instance, I love to be on a baseball team and LOVED to play in Ryder Cup-esque matches in high school golf. I even just want to write so that someone else can share in the laughs or say “damn, me too.” #MeToo #OwlsAreBirdsToo
My soul wants to share. It may not always know what to share or how it should go about it, but a life of solitude is one I have lived, tried to escape, and do not miss.
Next week: Friedrich Nietzsche
If you now better love yourself than when your reading of this started, congratulations on belonging with your soul. You are allowed to purchase a coffee.
If you believe I am a dumbass then die for it, Mr. Peterson.